Well, I jumped in, with both feet, to that new Bible Study today. You know the one. The "S" word, remember?
Anyway, today's homework from the introduction to the study has to do with writing some thoughts on a couple of verses Sunny posted, but before I do that I have to back up to yesterday.
One of the things I have committed to doing in order to fully commit to this study is to get up earlier. I did not want the time I spent studying to interfere with my pre-designated family time. While, I realize that ultimately, what I am doing here, has the potential to have an eternal impact on my family and hopefully many generations after me, I know my family needs me fully present at certain times of the day-so earlier rising seemed the best option.
I have to say that 6 am rolls around awfully early for me. But I have made a commitment to an hour a day and I need to be up before Rick and the kids in order to accomplish that. So anyway, I get up yesterday, fairly awake, ready to go. I was seriously pumped. And so I started journaling.
Journaling is something I LOVE to do. Yes, even at 6 am. I wrote out this prayer to God: "Lord, be with me. Search my heart and see me. See if there is anything undesirable there. Make my desire for you. Help me to fight and defeat the schemes of the enemy, who seeks to keep me in the pit. But even there you are. Help me to bring honor and glory to you in my role as wife and mother. You are my King. Amen"
I realized, starting this study, that in order to biblically submit to my dear husband, I had to submit to my dear Lord. I shared in my last post about how incredibly difficult this is for me. Look up "strong-willed" in the dictionary and there you will see my picture. So, that was my prayer to start this journey. Nothing fancy or deeply theological about it. Just an admittance of my great need for help.
From that prayer this thought has been stuck in my head since yesterday morning. "Search my heart Lord." Sometimes I like to memorize little portions of Scripture and keep repeating them to myself throughout the day when my thoughts get off track. For example, when I was overwhelmed with the busyness that is the life of a homeschooler, and I FINALLY recognized that I had lost my focus, I would repeat this to myself. When I got impatient with the kids, there it was again. When I was tempted to argue with my husband...yep, you guessed it, there again. Now don't get the wrong impression. I am not this super-spiritual person who knows all this Scripture and goes around quoting it all day long. No, it is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY the power of the Holy Spirit. God's Word says that it will not return void. What a beautiful truth that is.
I just love it when that happens-when God brings to mind a certain Scripture throughout the day. I will say, that I have learned the hard way, that I should probably listen. (Yeah, my picture is next to hard-headed too). I think that is probably why God feels the need to repeat Himself. And honestly, I never cease to be amazed.
Have you ever read a Scripture during morning devotions and then had the opportunity to speak about it with a friend later? Have you ever thought of a song and then find it playing on the radio as soon as you turn it on? Have you ever had a sermon on a particular passage of Scripture and then you go home and you have en e-mail that talks about it as well? That happens to me ALL the time.
Coincidence?...I think not! (Not that I believe in them anyway).
We have been studying the life of Joseph in our Bible lessons at home. And lo and behold, what do you think the pre-schoolers did for a craft and story a couple of weeks ago. Joseph! Our pastor talked about a "ziggurat" during a service where Madison was with us and that very week one of our assignments was to make one. Talk about experiencing the Word!
Coincidences?...well, you know what I am going to say.
Anyway, imagine my surprise this morning as one of the Scriptures Sunny wanted us to comment on was this:
The exact same Scripture that had been going over and over in my mind yesterday! How cool is that?
Coincidence?...oh no, it's a God-thing!
I am not sure exactly how to answer Sunny's question about how these verses have impacted me and my family. But I can't wait to find out! So these verses have become my prayer for the week and for this study. I know that without some serious self-confrontation that I will not willingly submit my heart to my Lord and to my husband. Instead, I will continue to do what I have always done-look out for my own good, fight to get my way. (Stubborn-that's my picture too.) I want God to expose my sin and discipline me in His righteousness. I want to be God's girl.
Incidentally, here is the second passage we were asked to comment on:
14 May the words of my mouth
I am adding that to my prayer. I love this verse because it is basically saying, I want to glorify you in all I do. When you say the "words of my mouth" (the things you speak) and "meditations of my heart" (the things you think)-that pretty much covers it all. In all I do, I want to please my Lord-even if that means not being pleased myself. I want to put aside myself-strong-will, hard-headedness, stubborness-all of it. I choose to lay it all down for my Lord. After all, look what He laid down for me.